Love 

When love beckons to you, follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams

as the north wind lays waste the garden. 

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. 

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast. 

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart. 

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love. 

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. 

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

by Kahlil Gibran

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY FOR ALL <3

T.T

tadi sore, test block english listening gue aneh banget. disetelin lagu coldplay yang judulnya 42. trus suru cari relevansinya sama unit yang lagi gue pelajarin. dan tiba tiba gue berasa sangat kangen sama opa gue, banget.

dengerin dulu ya lagunya.







namanya opa mansur. beliau bukan opa kandung, tapi gue uda nganggep kayak opa sendiri. ya, beliau adalah opa angkat yang merupakan tetangga gue dari gue umur 6tahun. and he was the only man i looked for every morning, just to said "hello and good morning" and i remember he did always answer "take care and study hard today, feb.." trus gue inget waktu kecil hampir tiap hari makan di rmhnya. maen ayunan di rumahnya. tiap lebaran selalu gue tunggu2 karna bisa kumpul2 di rumah opa sampe kapan aja. dan ngobrol2 sama opa itu yang paling gue suka, gue bisa cerita apa aja sama beliau meskipun umurnya beda jauhhhhhhh dan agamanya pun beda. gue sangat suka sama semua kata katanya, gdan ue bahkan masi inget apa aja nasehat dya..

tapi sekarang, gue kangen banget suaranya. gue kangen banget dipeluk erat sama opa, dan cium pipinya. tapi gue sadar uda ngga mungkin. ya, opaku yang paling kusayangi itu uda meninggal tanggal 29 mei 2008 lalu karna kanker dan penyakit komplikasi lainnya. gue masi inget dengan jelas dua hari sebelum opa dipanggil sama yang di atas, gue setia nemenin beliau di UGD RS Omni. megang erat tangan opa sambil nangis. opa sempet bilang semacem pesan-pesan terakhirnya. dan gue akan terus inget, bahwa beliau pengen gue sukses dan dia yakin gue akan sukses. saat itu, gue bener-bener sedih liat kondisinya, apalagi pas opa tereak kesakitan pas ada dokter yang masukin semacem jarum apa gitu ke tangan kanannya. he struggled through his hard days before God took his back.

have you ever lose a person so close and precious in your life but you dont even have enough time to say you love him/her and suddenly he should leave you, forever??
gue nyesel banget selama 12 tahun deket sama opa, ngga sempet bilang gue sayang beliau bahkan sampai beliau uda ngga ada.


lirik lagu ini pas banget dan gue sangat percaya, THOSE WHO ARE DEAD ARE NOT DEAD, THEY JUST LIVING IN MY HEAD.
even i dont know whether you will know or not, but I DO MISS YOU SO MUCH, grandpaa. nama opa akan selalu aku selipin dalam tiap doaku :) goodbye, and take a rest in peace forever..


so for all, close everyone precious in your life tightly because you will never know when they will leave you..

week.end!

yang paling gue tunggu tunggu dalam seminggu adalah : melangkah riang keluar dari kelas menuju mobil di hari jumat sore. itu artinya minggu ini uda kelar, yes weekend! setelah seminggu suntuk suram dgn sgala rutinitas najis di sekolah. 

lagu penyemangat buat weekend ini :

gym class heroes - the queen and I 

rediscover - shake it

fall out boy - america's suitehearts (official musicvideonya ngga bisa diembed, jadi yg ini aja)

ingrid michaelson - be ok (ini juga adanya video yang ini. buat mehe mehe lagunya lumayan juga)

van she - strangers 

numb.

yes i am, and feels like holly piggy shitsss.

tryout sinting, ulangan jahanam, les malesin, rutinitas yang ujung-ujungnya buat UJIAN AKHIR doang. mulai minggu ini ga ada hari bernapas buat duabelas ipa, setiap hari (BENERAN TIAP HARI DI AGENDA GUE ) ada test entah itu tryout atau ulangan harian/block. bahkan ekskul aja uda diilangin buat tutorial.

semuanya bikin gue jadi feeling numb, matirasa. ya apapun itulah. mau pecah nih kepala rasanya kejejel mat biologi fisika kimia yang hell nya luar biasa. kejejel sama ocehan semua guru-guru yang seakan-akan bikin UAN MENYERAMKAN BANGET.

dan parahnya, gue bahkan lupa gue ulang tahun bulan ini kalo ngga liat agendanya cang tadi di sekolah. ya ampun gila banget baru kali ini gue kebas abis. dan gue sama sekali ngga excited mau birthday. ada apa ya? pathetic :( at least im trying to laugh hard, today.

-------------give me back my feeling, please.